Soul Searching

Kim at one of our many gas stops across the US

Kim at one of our many gas stops across the US

I just embarked on a eleven day trip cross country to spend the summer working on a garden in a hostel called SnowMansion in Arroyo Secco, New Mexico. I took my best friend Kim, packed up all my belongings, quit my job, and moved out of my Worcester apartment to experience the great unknown and really experience parts of this gigantic country i really have yet to see. a change I greatly needed.

right now, I haven’t even gotten to my final destination; the place i will be calling home for the next three months. a break was needed. I packed up my entire life the week before i left, which turned into this chaotic experience of sorting through what i was taking with me, putting into storage, and just leaving behind without remorse. and while i did this, i dotted in heart-wrenching goodbyes to people i’ve grown to love in the past few years and i’d miss greatly in the next 3 months. I thought i didn’t connect with people in my post-college years in Central Mass, and boy was I wrong. Leaving was really what it took for me to take stock in the little community i created around myself in my most productive years in Worcester.

a coffee shop a friend of mine worked at while he lived in Santa Fe became an important place for me to unwind.

a coffee shop a friend of mine worked at while he lived in Santa Fe became an important place for me to unwind.

so here i sit, the day after dropping my friend Kim off in the Albuquerque airport, in Iconik, a coffee shop I quickly made a home base while in Santa Fe, just trying to take a deep breath, before moving on to the next step. because if this trip has taught me anything, it’s that i need to slow down and enjoy the moments right in front of me.

We left on March 21st, the first full day of spring, first day of the new Zodiac cycle, the day after a New Moon in Pisces and a total solar eclipse. It seemed like the best way to start off on this new chapter of my life. the best way to let go of the past and open up to something new. we said goodbye to my parents, and hit the road. we were excited. energized. and working on only a couple hours of sleep. in our excitement we took a wrong turn for about two hours and ended up back in New York, costing us 4 hours, but we went with it. it was an adventure. it was a lesson in letting go.

We saw many amazing things, met some amazing people, and experienced disappointment as well. some places meet or even exceed everything you thought about them, and some places really aren’t what you expect.

I began writing out each day, and it quickly became too long of a post. I was rambling and by day five i had written out over three pages. I didn’t even get to New Mexico. And I really should hit the road so i can really, leisurely experience the drive up to Taos. Proofreading is key, and I guess I need to break it up into smaller chunks, so everything that needs to be said, is said. Plus I realized I left my phone in the car, and things really heat up down here between 11 and 5.

my Jeep day 2 in Shepherdstown, WV

my Jeep day 2 in Shepherdstown, WV

A lot of people said I was crazy to pack up my old 2000 Jeep Cherokee, with all its electrical quirks (no horn, drivers side window is broken, blinker sticks) and terrible gas mileage. But it was worth the risk; I spent much less on gas than I had planned, and while I am terrified of there still being car troubles in the future (I did buy it durring Mercury in Retrograde 2014) it was an amazing lesson in taking risks and action.

If you ever get the opportunity to leave everything behind, and to get up and go, just do it. life isn’t worth anything if you don’t truly live it.

Heather EndersComment